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Okay – one more post about Dad angst before I go back to broader topics…

One week from tomorrow, God willing, we will welcome a fourth girl – Ella Rae – into our family. I was thinking tonight about the years we ached for just one child and the task we have now undertaken – raising 4 girls. It’s more than I ever hoped for, but now I’m praying (as I think all parents must) that it’s not more than I can handle…

As I think tonight about the mysteries of fathers and daughters, I randomly remembered this music video from our old pal Lindsay Lohan, back when she was a young starlet with a bright future. I don’t know how much of this is embellished and how much is autobiography, but I do remember how I felt when I saw it for the first time: physically ill. And maybe a little angry. And I am thinking now about the tragic turns her life has taken, and thinking that maybe we should have seen it coming back then.

I dream of another you, one who would never.
Never, leave me alone to pick up the pieces.
A Daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed.

Haunting. Especially for us father-types. When I see LiLo in a news story, I don’t see a hedonistic Hollywood celeb or a cautionary tale or a target of ridicule. I see the scared, angry, hurting little girl in this video. And I think two things:

One: Lindsay, you do have a Father dying to hold you, whole will never leave you alone, who will pick up the pieces. And He’s close. And it’s never too late.

Two: Dear God – make me like You so I don’t mess up my girls.

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Not a lot of time, but feeling the need to post. I have been working up the outline of a book I’d like to write (much like this blog, it will likely never reach any audience, but it’s something I always wanted to try). It’s called “Letters to Neo.” The basic idea is to frame Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus – young pastors he was mentoring – along with a few of his other words of wisdom for “overseers” in light of current American culture. These are timeless words, and they are profound in the context of the part of the Story we find ourselves in.

I’ve also been studying to teach about some of the “Hard Words of Jesus” at Redwood Hills. The upshot of both of those efforts is that I have been thinking a lot about Jesus’ ministry on a practical level – His words, His way of doing things, and how it affected the first generation of His disciples. A million deep thoughts come from that, but here’s one for today:

It’s hard to be like Jesus.

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In the previous post oh so long ago, we talked about going the extra mile – helping those who can’t give us anything in return. In the intervening four months, we welcomed a new girl into our family and a giant project at work ate the rest of my life (80 hour weeks, that sort of thing). Those are my excuses for the gap between that and this. Of course no one has asked me about it .

Also in that intervening time I have been putting much thought and action into these faith concepts. Since not many people currently read this and no one is dying without new content, I am finding it more important to write something well-crafted than to just write something. But I am also going to try to keep these shorther – people got lives .

All preliminaries out of the way – I have been thinking a lot of how Jesus teaches us to do good things. It seems from the things He says that He is not only interested in what we do, but why and how we do it. Read the rest of this entry »

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